16 May 2009, Saturday

Well, after all that has happen, i'm well, i'm not myself. I don't feel 100% not that i ever did feel 100% for a long time. I'm tired of giving fake jokes and fake smiles, i want everything to be real. Losing my mate just made things worse, but i'm being strong, staying true and will continue fighting.

Today is Zachary's birthday, however i think best i don't go, everyone is going down which is cool for KBOX and a nice dinner of sometin. Happy birthday dude.

Um well im gonna go for gym now, i can finally bench press 50kg and maintain it. Now i'm gonna aim for 60kg before i go into army. Wish me luck. I know some of you don't know what bench press is, so it's like when u lie down and you just your arms to life a certain weight.
Oh well the singtel guy came over to fix up my cable tv and internet etc, so i can watch movies tonight then if i really can't sleep again. Hiaz damn it i just wanna be free from everything, free from love, pain, and everything. God help me please.