I've been very very busy with a lot of personal matters that i haven't had time to really blog or type anything worth mentioning, for that i apologize. Yes i have gotten some of your emails and sms's and the only explanation is i'm tired =) haha.

Well i hope every single one of you guys are well and safely doing fine out there, life sad to say isn't like it was back in those old simple school days, regardless of where you are or what you do, somewhere along the line you would had probably used the phrase " Hey how did i get here so fast? what now?!?!" ...........well life's a bitch and you gotta step up to the game or get played. silly and corny yea? but seriously true. Don't fuck it up you only got 1 chance.

Speaking of 1 chance, I've been spending my time more wisely, using it well for the family, playing my instruments, singing, cooking, sports, and being a good and close friend to many out there. I've come to realize after the death of a friend recently that life is too short. I have a friend lying in hospital now too, and i just learned that she's in ICU with some kinda of disease with low immune system and fever, i can't even go in and hold her hand, it's saddening. All i can do is keep her in prayer and hope that GOD will see things true as he has always done for me.
People always say that i have a lot of friends, but i come to realized that it's not entirely true, you can have many friends but how many close friends do you actually have? Those who will share your stories with you and stick with you through thick and thin? Now that is a friend, a mere few.that i will confide in, trust.

I have grieved enough for days and it's time to stop finding excuses and blaming it on my dearly diseased friend, it's time i start eating properly and not starving myself too. I had lost 4 KGS due to my temporary state of depression. I'm fine now and i'm moving on.

Once again thanks everyone for all the support, and pls keep them coming. Do not hesitate to every sms/call/msn me, i look forward to it.

with love
Cho...

thanks

There was a time for tears and sorrows but that shit it totally out the window. I would like to thank everyone for all the messages and calls and even the surprise hugs and handshakes if you saw me by coincidence. I'm doing good now and it's time i get back on track. Thanks again =)

Loosing Control

There's so much going on lately that i just don't know how to describe in a paragraph or in a composition. The common phrase, "God works in mysterious ways," just doesn't make sense, why hurt those who are pure and innocent, what have they done seriously? I looked into my friend's mother eyes and i saw that look i know all too well. So God, please tell me and explain to me what is your plan, cause i need to know right now more then ever....
    On a different note, I've hurt someone i care about, and all she did was care about me in her own way. She's well, Special, i've never met someone who was closely similar to me in certain ways and a face i couldn't read instantly. I was a train wreck and i couldn't bare waiting so long for her sms/call. So i snapped when she finally replied. I've spent the entire day kicking myself hating myself for that stupid action. I'm not that kinda person, i never was, but over the period of weeks with situations and issues happening simultaneously, i've lost control over my body and emotions. I've even put on weight, 2KGS of it. I just wish i could take back all that i said or did, i wish i could see her or rewind to the days where we had hourly conversations on a daily basis throughout the night and the simple pleasures of pizza whilst watching a movie.
     I have so many bills on my plate the last few weeks some accounting to over $1000, with every dollar gone, is a step i am further away from UNI or Cooking/Business School. I can't even concentrate on the road whilst driving especially when i'm driving at work. It's only a matter of time before i hit a tree or something, better that then a person. I think i've hit depression at the highest level, and i'm doing my utmost to make sure the family doesn't know. I just can't smile anymore, and i started puking out everything i eat. Still at the end of all that shit, some of which i can't mention, i still think of how i hurt this person today, i should had opened up to her when she asked, now it's too late, i've fucked up and i'm a mess. I have exams tomorrow and i cant be bothered about them any longer. i feel so pathetic typing all this personal shit here but i don't care what others think anymore........i feel like buying cigarettes and smoking away....

Last 2 weeks

Hey guys and gals, I'm so sorry, I've been super packed with my schedules lately and i know I haven't exactly had time for you mates all the time, i'm working on it believe me.

Firstly i would like to congratulate everyone on completing their exams and entering the new era termed, " HOLIDAYS." Isn't it the best feeling in the world waking up the next morning realizing that you don't have to go to school? But then again from my past experiences without exams to study for i'll be a little lost with all that free time, like where's the meaning or goal/task for the day. Thus a simple solution is get a job! Recently been offered a few jobs posts such as a tuition teacher for A level maths, cook at Shangri La Restaurant and the Tempanyaki post at Sakura Downtown East. All of which are suitable post for temporary jobs just that army doesn't permit. Sadly. I have to find other means of getting in more cash flow, of which i did nor will i disclose.

It's been a hectic 2 weeks with army, studies and hanging out with mates for parties, birthdays and luncheons/dinners. Been meeting a lot of new people and making new friends lately which is cool, some actually share common friends which i find too coincidental which is scary on all accounts based on the way we initially met. Oh oh oh! I almost forgot, i find this damn stupid...

 Last week was at a club with mates and i was hitting the beats on the dance floor as usual, then was dancing with random girls around me, nothing new right? practically normal. Then after a few songs i realized that one particular girl and her friend was staying with me throughout the songs. >>>>

Ok at this instance i'm like hey it's nothing, just someone keeps dancing don't worry about it. She starts getting too close and tries to kiss me.I stepped back knocking over a guy with a cigarette scalding my finger (it's gonna leave a tiny scar, bastards!), then i asked her, 

Mark            :      " Hey WTF?"

Club Girl      :      " What? " 

Mark           :      " What do you mean what? What the hell are you trying to do? " 

Club Girl      :      " I find you yummy, i want to kiss you "

Mark           :     " Sorry love, i'm not into that kinda shit "

Club Girl     :     " Ok i'm sorry, can i hug you? "

Mark           :    " No you can't, hey i got to go, nice dance."

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! I hate it when people think that guys will go for anything, it's not the first time i've been approached for a quicky in the toilet or a nearby hotel or the "bring me home" phrase. I'm not that type of guy mate, although my face looks like a bit of a bad boy LOL. Although i'm single in a way, doesn't mean i'm desperate zZz....

The last one week since then one of her friends has been sms-ing me too, asking me how's my day and meet for lunch etc etc. I didn't know this girl who we swapped numbers were friends with the crazy bitch, big mistake i think. Then that her birthday just passed so let's go out and do something......This is the kinda shit that gets me pissed of especially when someone i just met is asking me out constantly and messaging me stupid stupid sms's constantly sia. There's a way for it to be done, but either way i have a strict policy, i will go out with you as friends but definitely not date anyone i just met and especially from a club. I thought girls only get this kinda attention, i'm a guy lol, but hey the attention although unwanted is something different, take it as a bad experience. lol....

Okoko so i'm tired and i've had like 3-4 parties this week, one chalet later today (sunday) and another on tuesday. I don't think i'm going to any. I'm tired and need my rest, and eating this kidna food is bad!!!!

One of my friends is in hospital, she had a seizure and the last few days her condition got worse, she's now in ICU and i'm prob gonna go see her again tonight. It's sad though, why these things happen to unexpectedly and to those who are healthy. She's like an angel, and she's been coming over a few weeks back for swimming and tanning. I pray that things work out to be fine.....

Suddenly lost the mood to study, but it has to be done, sian.

Happy birthday my dear friend.

Growing up back over there was sometimes a bit tough but you were always there to keep me in shape. We were the best buds always there for one another. Leaving Australia was one of the hardest things i had to endure at one point especially leaving you behind. But for the last few years you have always been with me deep down. Sentimental and silly i know but i really miss you so much. Today's your birthday and i can't stop missing you. I will visit your parents when i visit and i'll buy you the loveliest flowers money can buy. Tears will never bring you back to this world but i know the love i have for you will last all eternity.

Take care love.
Yours Always
Mark Gidwani

040410 1925 Hrs

Tuesday Yellows

Overall it was a nice day off for a change, had breakfast with cousin at 4am this morning, seriously like super tired once i hit the sack around 8am.

You guys ever get those feelings when you feel that your head is lying in bed but your body is out and lurking around hastily to come home? Well if you do let me know, i found the perfect remedy, try slices of lemon boiled in hot water with a pinch of sugar and a teabag. Yea it's something like ice lemon tea or some shit but seriously it's so much different when it's fresh off the stove.

With 4 hours of sleep, i somehow managed to meet up with Jasmine. Weeks ago she claims we haven't met up in like a year, then again with army, time flies in all directions and places you seriously do not wanna know. So i guess YOU kinda slipped off my mind love at that point <3. Well all in all a super good lunch in town followed by a movie at her place. Something different i guess, but after the first 40 mins i fell asleep in her room and her parents came home. LOL! jialat jialat. Well we're not exactly dating or are we? What was it you told your parents again for the quick getaway? HAHA! You should had just told them i was a male stripper or something, the sunglasses really suited the role perfectly babe.

After the ordeal anyways, the ride home was a killer. Rush hour and i'm on the train from West to EAST. SEriously i was frustrated and exhausted enough to literally fight for a seat, luckily i had a wall to lean on. Erm i mean sleep on, i slept standing up the whole 55 mins ride till Pasir Ris. Good thing i really live at the end of the line.

okok lets sum it up, thanks everyone for the well wishes, my cat is fine now and she's being lazily cute as can be, means she'll be fine haha. kk la i'm gonna sleep, i actually took the punching bag out and smacked the shit out of it once i got home earlier today. oh and if i don't reply my msn, i'm not home, sometimes i leave the computer on as i sync it up outside via network.

kk la time to slp. nitex
love you babe, thanks for today.
cho

Some people think they're better then everyone else, some even think that you would remain good friends with them as and when they please especially if they're best friends are neglecting them. Well guess what? I know when people i call friends do that and i know when some of you use me or when need my company, but hey i'm fine with it, just that i have no respect for you nor would i go out of my way to help you. So we can continue being friends but bare this in mind yea =)

My close friends know this and some of you should know as well, i don't take shit from anyone not even my own parents. That's me....

Firstly i would like to say good luck to all those having exams this week and next and the following week after that. Recently everyone's been telling me about their exams and kind enough to tell me their schedules so i won't plan anything during their exams period. Argh kinda makes me wish i was back in school, but not studying Triple EEE (Engineering) but more like business and econs etc. Hmms well my turn will come mates, and you'll actually realize how left out i feel. LOL.

Here's a Little Quote i thought would be adequate enough for all those studying. Something other then the "Study hard jia you" phrases.

"An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong."

Russell Baker 

Anyways today once i turned on my phone after work, there was likes a couple of messages and missed calls. I thought i told most of you guys that i'll be in base on Sunday morning. But anyways i apologize for missing lunch, chillax periods, dinner, pub/clubbing and gym. I really don't have a lot of time on my hands, so if anything do let me know in advance so i can jot it down in my diary. As it is the next few weekends i have chalets and birthdays to attend. Quite crazy seriously but oh well, we shall see, i'll try make time to meet everyone of ya. Thanks again for all the support and stuff yea, i'm seriously trying super hard with training and upcoming competitions.

Wah i'm seriously so tired, i still may have running later lol, i haven't really been exercising at all, i've jus been slacking not a good thing. Need to go back to my routines everyday. Silly night shifts at work, my third week in a row, seriously no life.

SAT 25th April

Firstly i would like to say, i got home at effing 0020HRS this morning from camp. Seriously that's bloody interesting lol, worse part sunday morning i'll be back in base, which is a couple of hours from now. Argh seriously this sucks balls. Oh well i made the best out of it....

Lets see, woke up this morning, did push ups like crazy and weights oh which people have been commenting that i'm more buff which is a good thing. For once my training routine is working out it seems. Then again i wanna burn the fats, 3 months is the target.

I played the guitar for awhile, played Paramore's Ignorance (Acoustic) then it was off to more push ups then out with jen's for lunch. She bought me a pair of berms wtf. Darling i'm not your bf don't need treat me so good la LOL. Thanks love!
During Lunch : Posted via Facebook

was in line queing for chicken this afternoon, the person in front of me was pouring chilli into a little saucer and in a quick attempt to savor her food, splashed chilli on my hair and in my eyes. Inconsiderate Bastards. FML!

I mean seriously la can't people be more careful and at lease more considerate or even apologize. Fucking hell i even needed Jen's help to even wash the chilli shit out of my eyes. Mutha Fookers! So pissed off. 

Met up with mum's and sis did some shopping and did some shopping at Tampines T1. Took turns trying out all the sunnies at UNIGLO << CANT SPELL IT.....All in all a super fun day.

Ended the night well shall i say morning with a BBQ with old mates. Guys and Gals exchanging ARMY/WORK/SCHOOL Stories. Awesomeness Seriously. Love you all.

 Alright needa go do some shit and some more pushups LOL! addicted sah. 

Nitex all

Work again tmr morning FML!

Yummy Pies.

Just made some chicken pies! Although it looks kinda flat LOL, i think i need more practice. I'm really out of touch with my baking, thankfully my culinary skills hasn't got the worse of me. Well i have like 22Hrs before i have to report back to work, on a fucking sunday. Seriously FML.....

Hmms have a bbq/gathering later, although i booked the bbq pit for $100 non refundable, my friends wanna do it at Pasir Ris Park instead. I wonder if they actually know i paid cash? Hmms. Nvm. We'll see how the evening goes.
................


enjoying life........

Hmms hey guys, once again i apologize if i can't meet you all this week. I have a very very tight schedule especially with the dance stand off coming up and my usual training for upcoming competitions. Then again there's the " Army " excuse, but seriously i'm truly sorry, working the PM shifts means i work throughout the night and i'm home during the day. I've already managed to meet some people during the day but that's about it for me really.

Hmms so i'm back with the guitar again, strumming away as i please throughout the day before work. I can only play a couple of songs, but i've recently started playing to John Legend's songs. They're really super nice and the beat isn't too fast for my pathetic fingers to keep up with. Only problem is the blisters are back once again =_=.

Other then that i've started sketching and drawing again, i'm like getting back to my hobbies and using the computer far less. Then again the computer is always on for my tunes =_= so not much of a difference anyways hAHA.

Training wise it's getting hard to maintain discipline! I now can only carry 1.3 times my bodyweight which is roughly about 120kg. Not good enough. Not to mention everyone's like super busy to train with me, and when they're free it's like i'm busy. Hopeless honestly.....

FML man! Seriously time isn't a luxury for me, i don't even have time for friends, i barely have time for family let alone time for myself. Even my training routine has been compromised, from the 200 push-ups a day and skipping plus gym/swim/jog to like once every 2-3 days. I'm starting to feel fat! this won't do!! Good thing i have like 2 hours before my shift.

Thanks to all those who have contacted me over the last few days, i'm fine and i can't be bothered about Jane anymore. She has to learn to grow up a little and she'll be fine. And i'm not emo lol, wth! I'm just very very expressive with my feelings and beliefs. Argh gtg need use the gym and book the BBQ pit.


Once again i'm sorry to some of you guys
Pam's for missing breakfast all the way at NUS =_=, hate u.
Geoff for lunch.
Randall and mates for tonight's TIMBRE, i'll try to make it.
Louis for chillax session, i'll call you later.
RASCAL3 - Look forward to our poolside BBQ tmr evening!

What you did tonight is something i haven't felt in awhile. You brought me dinner and you waited at my poolside for me to come home from work. I'm truly touched! I really am, spending time with you again and catching up on lost times was really something. But after all that you had to mention it. Why? What's the point? It's over, please get over it. I feel so fucking stupid telling you over and over again until i've reached the point that i'm tired of concealing everything to all my friends and family. Some of them have found out one way or another and it's so embarrassing that a grown man can't even handle these situations without making such a scene. Haven't you hurt me enough with Dave and that other fucker. I'm already doing my utmost to stay close friends with you can't you see it. I'm sorry i truly am and i know you regret everything you've done but the damage is done. I can never hold your hand without thinking of the amount of betrayal which trails endlessly behind our footsteps.

This is the last straw, i honestly don't care what you do with your life nor will i bother to help you. It's been so so so fucking long since we've split. Let me have my own life again and start dating without you scaring every single other person i meet away. Stop meeting me (pretending to bump into me outside my coincidence), and then ask me about my plans and my day. I'm not interested in anything you have to say.

It's hurting me so fucking deep inside just typing this to you, i even have a bloody exam tmr at 9am. You know my work involves peoples lives and weapons so do not spoil my concentration. Please stay the hell away from me until i bother to contact you. I'm sorry and yea...that's all i have to say.

nitex.

BEACH

Gazed upon from distant stars 

feel the echoes from within,

a touch of melody, a dainty hollow 

a blind man's whisper,

a dark shadow.

Blindly as if colourblind

words of poison with each sip of wine.

meticulously poised,

dangerously dark yet defined.

Misleading was the answer...

Jenna i've posted it. HAHAAHA!

I just had a big ass nudging from a dear friend, well she's more like a sis to me. looks like i better take her advice before she kills me. But then again i think you're already gonna kill me right? haha. Too bad i've posted it.


~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 Mark what the hell is with your postings lately? You're like all emo again! Get a grib bro!

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 What?!?! No la i don't think so. What are you talking about how am i emo?
eh ps but what are u on abt gal.?

~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 Ex-gf this ex gf that, aiya fuck care her la after what she did to you! Move on dude.

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 Hey Hey Hey you giving me relationship advice? Don't forget who's the only guy who's never left your side LOL

~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 eh
 i'm talking about you ok!!!

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 fine fine fine, you were saying love

~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 ok as i was saying be4 i was rudely interrupted!
 you need to jus hack care all these external and foreign influences! You have so much to look forward to, for one your massive makeover, your ideas and skills in business and even your cooking! oh my gawd cook for me again next week bro!

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 huh? wah
 eh no time cook le
 what's with the sudden spread of words. looks like you've been watching me closely as u've always. I'm fine la i'm not bothered but i'm just very friendly and i think some people take the wrong way of things

~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 oh ic
 well then i'm not sure what i can say but i know that it's time you got yourself a gf!
 for goodness sake stop being super friendly with everyone and just be friendly with 1 person, 1 gal i mean.

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 zZz
 i have been friendly too a lot of people but that's just me isn't it, i mean you know me that well enough to tell i can't change. nor would i. As for the gal part, i do really like someone, but i think she's really not interested other then being good friends, so i rather have her as a friend then nothing at all. As for the other people i really jus don't like em, don't know why i'm getting all this unwanted attention though. I'm ugly and fat!
~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 ahaha! you stud! So humble as usual. Hey you're not ugly ok! I'm sure a lot of people have told u! You're not fat either, jus big and recently more more muscle looking?!?!

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 um ok thanks dear!
 
~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 okok i need to go back to study!
 NUS is a bitch wish you were here in school with us!!

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 oh okays =) um thanks again! lol..

~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 oh and one more thing, start enjoying life! don't be a cry baby and complain complain.AND U BETTER NOT POST THIS ON YOUR BLOG!

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 zZz...i wasn't gonna. but since you've mentioned it. Look at it by tmr hahah! i'm jus gonna do it to piss u off.


~~^.⬢:*"°:⬢.[ jens ].⬢:*"°:⬢.^~~,,,,, says:
 bb argh projects. kk la i go study bye bye.

 ...marco... observations through distant echoes says:
 laters
 =)

Troubles

As for the MAIN TROUBLE, i can't shake my ex away, i met her the other day for dinner just to tell her that we can still keep in contact as friends but she doesn't want it. She's like so stubborn. It's been so long already yet she still clings on to me, i don't know why she can't go back to the other 2 guys when she was cheating on me. I won't and cannot tolerate people who cheat on another, it's easy to say " forgive and forget" ; but with any amended mirror the cracks will always show. For that purpose i have moved on and won't be looking back.

Then there's also a person i met at a club with friends couple weeks back. Her name's Annabelle, we exchanged phone numbers but i just wanna be friends. I don't mind going out with her as she asked me to but it's been once or twice too many in a week. She's not bad looking and her personality is great but that's not the only thing i look in someone. I'll be meeting her this week for lunch before work, hopefully she'll get the message.

Man I'm really in some serious shit once again. Damn it. Why and how i do get myself in these situations i really do not know. 

Keep those sms/msn's coming in guys.

Thanks for all the pep talks and stuff.

laters....

100 push ups ago i typed up that silly post, now i feel better, all the blood has rushed to my head, i can think more clearly now. There's been a few things bugging me lately and i just don't know how to put it in words without sparking off the wrong ideas. Not to mention this blog site has been compromised with at lease 10 readers a day (if that stupid head count reader works). But anyways this blog site is boring and pointless and a waste of time compared to maybe 2 years back. So in short, go find something better to do! =)

As for the situations, one of them is about me in camp. Everyone thinks i'm a player! wtf?!?! They think i go around screwing gals and stuff like that. It's like so not true, i'm not that kinda guy. They even ask me to lend them some of my friends for sex. I'm am so fucking disgusted nor have i spoken to some of them since. It's wrong, it's sickening in all areas and i have no respect for this kinda people. On one hand i might talk to you all friendly and shit, but that's all. You have no respect from me nor will i help you out of tight spots if the need arises. If i had that kind of mentality i could have done all that shit but for what? What's to gain out of 5-10 mins of pleasure?

So disgusted and sickened but this.....
Thank God not all people are like this...

Enough is enough,

My patience has reached it's limit, i'm about to go cold and heartless if i'm pestered one more time. Some of you know who it's about since she calls you guys as well to find out where i am. Fucking hell i'm gonna go ape shit soon if this continues. Ruins my concentration and mood especially when i'm handling dangerous things at work. If you care you would just leave me alone it's affecting my life. thanks.

Besides i think i like someone but i just haven't told her yet. At lease i'm telling you the truth. Sorry...
nitex....

Finally things are starting to look brighter with where i'm gonna go and stuff, i can't say much but i need to renew my passport. Let's say i'm going back home for awhile! Think i just gave it away =_=''.  But it's ages away, the short term trip this week was put off so yea all's good.

I've been eating like more and more lately with the extra 3kg muscle mass i've recently put on. I can finally lift 50kgs with one hand which is like finally! zzzz. I've even tested carrying a 120kg man the other day, but i've only lasted a couple lol. Hmms the competitions are a couple away too, and i'm not sure if i even have time to go. Does anyone else wanna join? or the mini one? At lease i can train with someone for it, won't be as boring. Imagine running 21km by yourself =_= i might just fall asleep.


I don't think i'll be buying my iphone or BlackBerry. Kinda wanna get mum and dad a new flat screen for their room so i can throw out their big-ass bulky one and get sis a laptop. Think 3 ppl happy is better then just me being happy. okok i'm just talking nonsense gonna go sleep.

keep those comments coming through via msn/sms
loves
cho.

I effing hate ppl who call me rich. I've worked so so hard and at times 2 jobs spanning 20 hours a day. Damn army people. I just learnt how to save and put money in the right places of investment. Is that so abnormal? Geez...whatever la..and they all drive cars and still call me this. Irritating....

Blogging

Was talking to a friend i haven't seen in ages this now and she was telling me how she likes to write out all her feelings and emotions out on diary etc. Which goes to answer the questions why i blog. Although i do have a diary and a monthly journal, i sometimes prefer to do it here. Of which some of my private postings aren't accessible without password etc. Then again i don't have anything to hide so i can't be stuffed.

Anyways went jogging to Pasir Ris Park which i so shouldn't have done! I managed to sleep a couple of hours this evening and woke up forgetting about the fever and vomiting, i just don't know how =_=. Good thing a friend was around the corner to pick me up and send me home. thanks!  

Anyways i am quite surprised by the amount views who read my previous post. And yes i did apologize countless times to my friend, but she's totally ignoring me so there's nothing i can do. Don't blame her though. As for the crazy ex gf, there's nothing i can do, if she feels like she wants to end her life then go the fuck ahead. I've suffered long enough and i wanna live my own new life away from all this.

Argh super super tired gonna sleep.

Welcome back to singapore sis! See you soon!
love
cho

Bad start to the week

Hey guys hope you all had an awesome long weekend cause i know i did haha. Just want to tell you all how much i miss meeting you guys. Some of you i rarely see nowadays either studying locally/overseas or working. But nvm i'm gonna have a giant giant giant party at year's end and the guest list will be in the hundreds LOL. Just need to decide on the venue of the club hmms and the pre-booking.

I've had a very very bad day from 0000Hrs to now (1348Hrs). I've had an argument with a dear friend, although it wasn't really my intention to sound so snide. When i sms as most of you know i don't really pay attention to what i type sometimes it comes out wrong, erm most of the time. Hiaz i think i lost a friend today and i just haven't slept at all since 1am. Kinda hurts deep down and although i wanna apologize again and again, i think she just wants her peace away from me. (Strike 1)

To make matter worse besides no sleep, i got a big screwing from my superiors today for reasons i'm not sure about. Apparently i failed to mention something but it was not part of my job scope so i don't see why i had to report it especially if it isn't in my field of expertise. Argh!! Worse my cousin is an officer how would it reflect on him if i fuck up again. (Strike 2)

Cab home was shit! Uncle drove so slow and i already wasn't feeling well with fever and slight vomiting. I know i should eat something but i seriously have no mood to eat, i just wanna keep my stomach empty before i puke again. Oh and did i mention the uncle drove the cab into the barrier of construction? It's those huge plastic red-orange barriers which the hard-working construction workers use to segregate the roads. Not only did the bump give me a headache but an extra $5 on top of my cab bill although $3 was knocked off once i got home. (Strike 3)

Seriously i just had the worse day, and some of you know that i ended a relationship like LONG ago cause i caught my ex cheating on me right? Well she's been constantly calling and messaging and sometimes appearing at places that i go to just to talk to me. I'm like super tired of this and one time i almost broke down cause she threatened to take the suicide's route if i don't reconsider. So what i'm trying to say is please understand it i sometimes get suddenly cranky although i don't usually do. But i'm really sorry to anyone if i may have sounded snide or rude or even fucked up, you all know i'm not like that but i'm just under a lot of stress. I'm really sorry and hope you all understand.

I don't really feel very good so if i dun reply ur msn i'll do so eventually.
A heartfelt thanks to all those who have got my back especially Lau who spent the first 4 hours of the day trying to piece me back together after all this shit happened.

Take care all, with love,
cho
5th June 10 / 1412Hrs

For the last 8 months i've been thinking of joining a group, not just any group but a group that saves up a certain amount of money and travels to those Third World Countries and help those who are really in need. I'm not sure what i can do, but if they need someone to carry heavy logs and build small wooden houses that's one thing i can do easily. I just feel a need to help and i wanna help. After army maybe i'll go, but i need to save up $10k zZz. Wish i was really rich so it wouldn't be a problem. Oh well better the $10k on this then a useless down payment for my car =(


Let me know what you guys think...
Oh um yea no chatbox's in my blog anymore, too many advertises. So you know how else to contact me =)

Seriously my schedule for the next 2 months is seriously getting cramped with the never ending birthdays, parties and chill out sessions with friends and family, but then again mostly friends. So i'm really sorry guys if i have really stopped blogging on like a permanent basis, life is short and i realized that i can be doing a lot more of other things besides blogging, but doing it on the way home in a bus or some shit is still the way to go.

Been recently meeting more people, some becoming good friends and stuff which is awesome. And yes i am single but i guess i just haven't found the right person yet. Actually i think i did but i don't know la haha, she's awesome but to her i'm not so yea maybe another life! HAHA. Anyways been seeing a lot of couples breaking up around me, one couple which i joined for dinner once cause they asked me to, resulted to a huge argument in front of me! This is nuts! If relationships are becoming; " Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy and girl kills each other," then i think i'll pass. It's like War of the Worlds when i ate dinner with them, i'm now kinda scared to order fried rice cause that is definately not a side dish i would consider trying EVER again. Luckily that phase of their relationship is over, can happily say i shaped things back up for them in check =)

Been having the craves for singing again, and honestly doing it in the bathroom never satisfies me, I WAS REFERRING TO SINGING! I wanna go back to a hobby which i once did on a full-time kinda basis and back to the variety of musical instruments which i used to play.

Why u ask?

Well after sitting at my usual rocky rocks (bay made of rocks) at pasir ris park the other night after jogging, kinda realised that there's so much i've stopped doing and so much i just forgotten be it people i know, places of interest etc. Army has totally changed my life in a bad way. This won't do and i'm sure some of you know this, so lets get some people together and make some noise or something ok!

Call me sentimental or just plain gay, but i just treasure my new options in life and i don't plan to let it go to waste. Every few hours i would think if i'm fully utilizing my time even sitting down for too long in camp on my ass is bad, so i used the time to make new recipes or even head to the gym. Oh and i wanna go back to working in the kitchens, it's something i just can't throw away, and the longer i suppress it the more crazier it gets once i start cooking. Don't worry i haven't killed anyone yet with my cooking.

I'm sorry guys for the randomness of today's post, i'm just tired and full of anticipation.

TC guys,
cho...